Welcome to Woodcrest
by Ellis97
Summary: In this first installment, Huey and Riley Freeman move to the small suburban town of Woodcrest with their dear old grandaddy, Robert and boy, do they not take it well.


**Author's Note:**

**Well folks, it's time I got this thing off my chest. As a longtime follower of social commentary and comic strips, I thought it was time for me to start a brand new series and this one is the incomparable and controversial, Boondocks! As a fellow African-American, I stand for truth, justice, and all that is satirical. So without further ado, the new Boondocks series! My take on the great Aaron McGruder's work.**

**So, without further ado, I present to you, the Boondocks! **

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_"Jesus was black, Ronald Regan is the devil, and the government is lying about 9/11!" _

_\- A monologue by Huey Freeman_

Woodcrest, Maryland, a predominantly white suburban upscale neighborhood founded by the Wuncler family over 170 years ago. Here, we see it's newest members, Huey and Riley Freeman exploring their newfound surroundings. The boys look forward to their new life, a new chapter, a new beginning in their surroundings of suburbia.

"Riley, I never thought I'd say this, but I have the distinct feeling that we are not in Chicago anymore." said Huey.

"What makes you say that, Huey?" asked Riley.

"Just take one look, Riley." said Huey. "Tranquil atmosphere, no riots, no crazy homeless people, and worst of all, clean air."

"Point taken." Riley deadpanned. "I hope we get used to this dump eventually. This place stinks."

Huey and Riley walked back to their new house, where they saw their grandad, Robert Freeman sitting on the porch chair.

"Grandad, I got something to say to you!" said Huey.

"What is it, son? Can't you see I'm busy?" Robert took his eyes off his book.

"Riley and I hate this neighborhood!" said Huey. "Why can't we just move back to Chicago?!"

"Boy, quit whining!" Robert retorted. "Why should you hate this place? We just got here!"

"All I'm saying is that we were perfectly happy and content in Chicago." said Huey. "I don't want to be stuck in no-"

"Boy, hush up!" Robert exclaimed. "Now get your brother, it's time for a family meeting!"

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Huey got Riley and the two went to see their grandad in the living room.

"Now listen boys, I know you've been wondering why we've moved halfway across the country to Woodcrest." Robert began. "Well I'll tell you why! You see, your grandaddy has survived seventy years on this God forsaken planet as a struggling black man, and of course, that ain't easy."

"Being in this family ain't easy." Huey rolled his eyes.

"Ya'll need to start appreciating your dear old grandaddy." Robert continued. "I always dreamed of someday owning a nice house in a beautiful place like this. That is why I spent your inheritance on this lovely home in this lovely gated community in this lovely town. A nice, peaceful place where a guy like me can retire in style. No more problems of some crappy city, seeing really big oak trees in the years and nearby lakes to go fishing. I don't have to like these people and they don't have to like me."

"But what about us, grandad?" asked Huey.

"You don't to like me either, but please act like you have some class and manners, boys." Robert replied.

"What's class?" Riley asked Huey.

"It means don't act like niggas." Huey whispered.

"Boys! Stop that!" Robert snapped. "What did I tell you about using the 'N' word?"

"Grandad, you said the N word 46 times yesterday." Huey pointed out. "Besides, Riley thought it was name when he was three."

"Now I kinda wish it was." Riley remarked.

"There's an exception to every rule!" Robert exclaimed. "Now listen! You may not like it here, but you'll have to get used to it! The other reason we moved here is to expand your horizon. In this particular neighborhood, there is a new white man and he is the most refined white man I've ever known. Word on the street is that he loves gourmet cheese and one bite will turn him as kind and benevolent as Mister Rogers."

"That's a load of bull, grandad!" Huey folded his arms. "You can't tame the white man and his evil supremacy with cheese."

"Yes you can!" Robert retorted.

"No you can't!" Huey growled.

"Yes you can!" Robert barked.

"No you can't!" Huey snapped back.

"Yes you can! Now get outta here! My show is on!" Robert snapped.

Huey and Riley rolled their eyes and stormed out the house for another walk.

"Stupid old fool..." Huey mumbled. "How can anybody say something like that? Cheese. Pathetic."

"You know, Huey, we've been walking for ten minutes and there's not a rib shack, subway station, basketball court, or Chinese carry-out anywhere." said Riley.

"We are pilgrims in a unholy new land, Riley." said Huey. "We'd better get used to this place."

Riley then saw a car, "You know Huey, we could steal the Lexus over there and be back in Chicago by next Tuesday."

"Forget it Riley, we're stuck here and I hate it." Huey pouted.

"Whatever." said Riley. "I'm gonna go back inside."

As Riley went back inside, Huey continued walking throughout the neighborhood until he saw a big hill with a huge oak tree. He climbed up there and saw there was a whole view of the town. He looked at the place with a bold and determined face.

"Oppressors, run and hide! Fear the arrival of the righteous! For I am Huey Freeman and I represent your darkest fears!" Huey spoke to the neighborhood. "I am a a black freedom fighter! My knowledge of self shines boldly in the face of the beast! So beware! I'm not going away for a while! Your seething hatred will not go-"

Just then, Huey felt a tap on his large afro.

"What the?" He turned around and saw an old lady.

"My, my, aren't you just the cutest little thing." the old lady smiled. "You are so adorable."

"Must you condescend me? Don't I have enough problems as it is?" Huey rudely asked the old woman. "Do I look like young Gary Coleman or Emmanuel Lewis to you? What is this? A cheesy 80s sitcom? Am I supposed to use cute little slang and be your little black doll? Well forget it! This black man is not going to be anybody's pet negro, you got it, lady?"

"What you say, sonny?" asked the old lady. "My hearing aid is on the fritz."

"Never mind..." Huey covered his face and walked away.

**THE BEGINNING!**

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**Author's Note: **

**Well folks, it looks to be the beginning of the Adventures of Huey and Riley. Together, these two brothers will encounter fantastic friends, evil enemies, and plenty of things to complain about. Stay tuned for more installments of the Boondocks! **


End file.
